BANGKOK — “The Boyfriend,” Japan’s first reality show focused on romantic relationships among men, has captured worldwide attention since Netflix released its teaser. The show marks a significant moment in Japanese media, shifting from traditional formats like manga, movies, and series to explore love and relationships across genders through reality TV.
Over 10 episodes, nine men aged 22-36, including Japanese nationals and those of mixed Brazilian, South Korean, and Taiwanese heritage, engage in activities designed to spark romantic connections.
These participants, who come from various backgrounds—students, designers, models, baristas, artists, chefs, dancers, and IT professionals—spend a month together in a tranquil seaside house, far from Yokohama city. Some identify as gay or bisexual, offering a rare glimpse into Japan’s evolving attitudes towards gender diversity amidst a conservative society.
The show’s popularity reflects a broader cultural shift in Japan, where public discussions about sexuality and gender diversity are uncommon. “The Boyfriend” quickly climbed to the top of Netflix Japan’s TV show charts and has also found success in Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore, and Thailand.
Japan is the only G7 nation that does not support same-sex marriage equality. Recent rulings from several prefectural courts have declared the ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional, increasing pressure for legalization. However, Prime Minister Fumio Kishida has struggled to advance these reforms due to strong opposition from conservative political leaders.
Nagatani Reina, a 40-year-old Thai-born transgender woman who has been living in Osaka for more than 15 years and recently gained Japanese citizenship in June, shared her insights with Khaosod English on the series’ impact on Japanese society.
“The Boyfriend has significantly expanded the safe space for LGBTQ people in Japan,” she said. The show has sparked widespread discussion in Japanese society, with many people around her, including her female colleagues, expressing their interest in it.
“This is the first gay reality show that’s prompted broader conversations about LGBTQ issues in Japan,” she continued. “I believe it will encourage younger people to come out more openly. The media is considered to have great influence. While Japan has had several LGBTQ series, they often lack the explicit NC scenes seen in Thai BL series. Japanese shows typically focus more on perspectives of love and societal living.”
Reina notes that while Japan has produced LGBTQ series like “Cherry Magic 30,” which Thailand has adapted into a Thai version, most Japanese BL series air late at night and target a niche audience. She views “The Boyfriend,” which streams on Netflix and reaches a broader audience, as a positive development. It reflects a gradual shift towards a more open society, particularly in large cities.
Another important aspect is the bravery of the participants in coming out publicly, as LGBTQ issues in Japan are often treated with a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ attitude. Many LGBTQ individuals in Japan keep their sexuality private due to concerns about the impact on their careers or family relationships.”
Little room for middle ground She compares the acceptance of LGBTQ individuals in Japanese society to the openness seen in Thailand 15 years ago. “Japanese society is gradually becoming more accepting of LGBTQ people, but it is still not completely open. Many people over 35 are unfamiliar with LGBTQ concepts, and those over 50 often only recognize men and women. Japan’s aging population contributes to this lack of awareness.”
Reina also shared her personal experience from 15 years ago when she first arrived in Japan. She encountered difficulties at university due to strict gender segregation. However, after her surgery, being recognized as a woman in Japan significantly eased her daily life.
“In Japan, there is little room for middle ground; people generally see things as either left or right, male or female. For a transgender woman who has undergone surgery, life in Japan can be relatively easy due to a certain level of acceptance. However, for gay men, understanding is less widespread, as many people continue to view them simply as ‘normal’ men.”
She continued, “Today, younger people in Japan, especially those under 26, are more aware of LGBTQ issues. Many are openly sharing their same-gender relationships both publicly and on social media. Platforms like TikTok and YouTube feature numerous programs discussing LGBTQ topics, and several Japanese actors and actresses have come out as LGBTQ. Despite this visibility, Japanese society often views these individuals primarily as entertainers, and their personal lives might still be judged differently
Reina added that many of her gay friends feel most themselves in the company of close friends. However, at work, they tend to share their personal matters only with trusted colleagues due to concerns about career advancement and potential discrimination.
Sparks Progressive Change In a conservative society that is gradually becoming more accepting of LGBTQ individuals, she noted, “Japan doesn’t outright reject LGBTQ people, but acceptance is not easy.” She added, “Even if a family accepts their son being gay, it doesn’t guarantee that grandparents will. With shows like The Boyfriend, while many viewers might be mothers, it’s likely that few would fully accept it if their own son came out as gay.” However, the widespread discussion surrounding the series has sparked a positive shift in societal acceptance, even if it is gradual.
Having lived in Japan for over 10 years, she views the Japanese government under Prime Minister Fumio Kishida as relatively open-minded about sexual diversity. She noted that during her citizenship application process, she felt fortunate to be interviewed by a younger official, around 30 years old, as she might have faced challenges with someone over 50.
“Politically, there have been numerous reports about the Kishida government attempting to introduce LGBTQ-friendly laws. However, these efforts are often met with opposition. This push is not only about appealing to younger voters but also might be influenced by Prime Minister Kishida’s childhood experiences in the United States, which could have exposed him to more open-minded Western culture,” she said.
Locally, Reina highlighted that her hometown of Osaka was among the first cities in Japan to promote LGBTQ-friendly tourism campaigns (https://www.youtube.com/@VisitGayOsaka) and noted that more Pride Month events are now being held in major Japanese cities.
Looking ahead, she concluded, “While it’s difficult to predict if Japan will advance same-sex marriage laws as quickly as Thailand, I believe that in the next 5-10 years, Japanese society will engage in deeper discussions about LGBTQ issues than it does today.”
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